Monday, September 01, 2008

Dear Tuffy,

I am almost embarrassed to write you, I'm sure no one else has this problem. My human is a complete dolt. She coddles me and baby talks to me and like a sugar cube addict I take everything she gives, but I don't respect her or listen to her. In fact I walk all over her and ignore most of the stuff she tells me. I am ashamed to admit it. I used to be so disciplined and a true competitor, but her slack ways have led me down the bridle path to gluttony and laziness.
The sad thing is that I can sense her frustration with me, but she keeps "feeding" my poor behavior by rewarding every bad thing I do, and trying to "reason" with me with no show of control. I love her, but I resent what she is enabling me to become. What should I do in order to fix my human before it is too late?

Out of Control and Hating It


Dear Out,

I suspect that the only fix for your human would be to lend her a spine or break her toes with a well placed foot. She's got to be taught that respect must be earned and it does not go hoof and hand with love. You have got to quit rewarding her bad behavior with slobbering greed and insincere affection. Buck up big guy and turn down a few carrots. Show that you are a horse with integrity and refuse to take the easy trail. If you don't you may find yourself getting shunted off to a very stern taskmaster and your easy life will truly be over. Just tell yourself everyday that there are 12 Hoofbeats to a Better Life. Every step you take towards solving your own dilemma will make you a happy healthier horse.
I also recommend you start nipping her when she hand feeds you. Nothing brings a human back to their senses like a few teeth marks.


Tuffy

4 comments:

lytha said...

Dear Tuffy,

My horse read your post and now I have a large amount of carrots, apples, and sugarcubes that he has turned down. I know you were trying to help, and I appreciate it, so I thought maybe you'd like these items. Do you have a snailmail address I can use to send them to you?

Thanks for the tips. I'm a fast learner, but I'm only human.

~beth in Germany

Tuffy Horse said...

My dear Beth,

I could not possibly accept your carrots. You horse would suffer from ntense jealousy. Simply cut them up and add them to his food so he can eat them out of a bucket like a good boy!
It is exciting to realize that someone over the big pond reads my blog!


Tuffy

cdncowgirl said...

Tuffy - now that you're blogging again regularly I'm going to add you to my blogroll. :)

Trojan Mouse said...

Tuffy,

*hugs* from your Auntie Jean

Remember me when you are rich and famous!