Sunday, June 22, 2008

Humans, I'll never understand them!

I am so remiss in my writing. I have had the most horrible personal experience lately and was simply too distressed to record the events until now. My human, whom I have always treated well and considered a member of the herd, betrayed me in a way I still find shocking.

In the past few weeks my human and Lucky’s human have been discussing something called a “getaway”. Lucky and I were both unfamiliar with the term and quite puzzled as to what a “getaway” entailed. Oh, how I wish we had stayed ignorant of what one was.

Two weeks ago the two humans loaded us up in the smaller wheeled cave and we traveled for a long time, until well after dark. I hate traveling in the wheeled cave, but even the enclosed space could not keep out the changing smells and sounds. When we arrived at our destination I could smell water, salt and the mucky nasty pond smell that we find in the lower pasture. Lucky and I were alarmed and both of us had the sudden fear that instead of going to a show, as we first thought, we were being taken to the “place of the double deckers” and disposed of. We were shivering when we were unloaded and I must admit I was extremely worried.

It was too dark to see where we were, but we were soon led to a dimly lighted stable. I use stable in the loosest term. It was in reality a small shack with two box stalls created out of rough boards. Our humans were chattering excitedly and seemed very happy to be there. Lucky and I were less happy and still concerned. We were soon in stalls, brushed and fed and then the lights were turned out and we were left to our frightened thoughts, all alone in the dark.

We both spent a sleepless night and when morning came we were surprised to see our humans in the barn right at dawn. That shock was followed by another one! For some reason our humans were almost naked, like baby barn rats. I was stunned. Granted my human is considered a rather attractive filly by others, and myself, but I was unused to seeing so much bare skin. When she comes to the barn she is usually wearing riding clothes and is quite well covered. Lucky’s human was similarly undressed and I must admit both of them were quite glowingly pale. It was disturbing. My human had small pieces of cloth covering her upper and lover body parts, whereas Lucky’s human had a stretchy solid piece that covered her from chest to upper thigh. They had on small rubbery foot coverings and each carried a large toweling cloth. We were quickly fed and brushed while we ate. I could sense the excitement that both humans had and Lucky could too. He kept giving me worried looks, but alas, I could not console him since my own fears were so great.

We were soon bridled and led from the stable, where our humans set about shocking us further. We were draped with the large towels and then mounted from a large block. I was shocked. I have been ridden bareback before, but always in proper form with my human properly attired. Lucky seemed less surprised at the riding arrangement, but he has led a more diverse life than I have.

We were ridden down a sandy path and then around a large sand hill. I had never seen such a thing and snorted several times in alarm. Lucky settled down and seemed content to walk quietly, absorbing the surroundings with little anxiety. I must confess that I could not stop my feet from jigging and several times I almost found myself spooking like an untrained colt. As we came around the hill I got the shock of my life! I confess I did spook and almost fell over spinning around. Lucky stoppedm, and thankfully remained still, because it is the only thing that saved my human from coming off. We ended up pressed against Lucky and she pushed herself upright by using his rear end. She was braying and nudging me to go forward, but I could not make myself move. In front of us was the largest body of water I had ever seen! It was endless, rolling and noisy, covering the entire horizon. I stood shaking until Lucky’s owner nudged him away and he walked toward the water. I followed along out of fear, afraid to lose sight of my only friend.

We entered a huge sandy area and walked toward the water. Well truthfully, Lucky walked and I staggered along like a horse that has had too many fermented apples. As we approached the edge of the water I could see large groups of white birds and some nasty scuttling things like big crusty spiders running along the wet sand. It was disgusting and when one of the nasty spider things got near my front feet I reared in fear. My human grabbed me around the neck, still braying in that way humans do when they find something funny. Lucky ignored the giant spiders and when his human nudged him he trotted off as if nothing was wrong. I deduced that he had probably hit his head several times as a foal and his behavior was the result of long term after effects. I skittered after him, trying to avoid the spider things and touching the cold slimy water.

The humans brayed some more and then to my horror Lucky’s human turned him into the water and rode him out away from the dry sand. Fool that he was he WENT. I halted very quickly and reared again, refusing to enter the nasty cold stuff. Lucky whickered and continued out until he was chest deep. He was obviously crazy, like horses get when the sticker man gives them the dancing carrot shot. My human kept urging me into the water and I was finally able to get in fetlock deep without shuddering. What a horrible experience! I was surprised to see that Lucky seemed to enjoy himself. He even pawed and splashed the nasty water onto me. When he came back closer to shore he suddenly lay down and rolled in the wet sand. I was horrified! I was raised to be a gentlehorse, not some mud rolling farm animal.

We spent the morning on the sand and in the water, although I never went deeper than my knees. We returned to the “stable” by noon and were hosed off and bedded down. Our humans were not as pale when we returned, but they did seem relaxed and quite happy. I can’t help but be confused by their behavior. Most of the time our humans seem to strive for cleanliness and order, but when put near large bodies of water and endless sand they seem to revert to some primitive form that enjoys frolicking in dirty water, sand and sweating like a workhorse.
Two days later we returned home. I was never so glad to get in the wheeled cave in my life. Lucky said he was sorry to head home, although he did miss the grass pastures. I’ll never understand him completely; his origins are too different from mine. I did thank him for his stalwart assistance during my times of fear. He graciously stated that it had been no trouble.I will recount more of our adventures in my next entry. More later.

1 comment:

horsesandhounds said...

This blog is hilarious!! I removed the Sweet 16 email from my blog and I hope you don't mind, but I posted a link to the webpage you have it posted, so that it can still be read. Love the Cat Beast!!!!