Sunday, September 02, 2007

Alien Camels from Mars

Today was a rather strange day. We went to a show at a small county fair. Shorty, despite the fact he is still in disgrace, was brought along too. I rode over with Pebbles in the big metal leg scrambler and we were stalled in a barn that smelled rather strongly of cows. Pebbles complained about this until I told him to stuff a hoof in it.

Just before noon we were taken out and saddled up in preparation for our afternoon classes. After our humans were mounted we walked over to the smaller warm-up arena. The arena was very crowded. English and Western styles were being practiced, as well as some horses allowing their humans to ride around bareback, sloppily dressed and behaving with the worst show ring etiquette. I resolved that my human would behave more circumspectly in public and to this end I worked toward getting her to yield and focus.

A short time later one of the big pleasure classes was called and the warm up arena cleared out quite a bit. I was just getting my human into proper balance by working some big figure 8's when suddenly things exploded around us. Horses bolted past, their riders screaming and jerking on the reins. My rider shrieked, but I held firm and halted near the center of the arena. I could see that Pebbles had hit the rails in the corner and Shorty was squished in the middle of a large bunch of horses on the opposite end from the entry gate. I could feel my human's hands trembling on the reins and I resolved that I would not let her spook, I gently maneuvered around until I could see the entrance gate and then I froze in total fear.

A long necked shaggy creature was walking toward me from the gate. It had a stalk like neck that ended in a wedge shaped head. The eyes were huge and gave the impression that they could see in a complete circle around it. The fur was dense and shaggy with big splotches of red and white. It was smaller than a cow, but larger than a sheep. My human shrieked again and I backed a few steps. I could hear the horses and humans behind me bunching tighter and the splintering of the rails as the horses pressed against them. I know without looking that I was alone in the center of the arena with the alien creature. I desperately searched my brain for what it could be when I heard several humans start shouting words. CAMELLAMAGOATCIRCUS!
What in the name of Man O'War's hoof was a Camellama? Were they meat eating? I was determined to protect my human and I struck out with my forefoot and snorted. The Camellama stopped and stared at me, blinking its huge black eyes. I could feel my human tighten her legs and gently tug the reins. I ignored her, knowing that I alone stood between my friends and the Camellama's death ray eyes.

The creature stretched its long neck toward me. I could see its strange slit nostrils and long tubular ears coming closer. I must admit that my heart was racing and my legs trembled. I felt as if my hoofs were rooted to the ground. I just knew that if I turned my back to flee the thing would leap upon me and devour my human. Closer and closer the thing's face stretched toward mine. I drew in my neck as much as I could. Suddenly its head quickly came forward and its nose touched my own! I neighed and felt my rear end almost fall out from under me. Then the creature drew back its head and lifted its evil lips. The next thing I knew I had a wad of green alien goop on my forehead. I whinnied in fear, knowing that the goop would eat through to my brain. My human was by now shaking and I could feel her hands drop the reins. Before I was aware of it she was on the ground beside me, making huge sobbing noises. I wanted to comfort her and tell her I would willingly die for her again, but before I could shake the green goop from my forehead I heard shouting from the end of the arena. Two men ran in holding lead ropes and shaking a bucket. The Camellama turned its head at the sound and then casually walked over to the bucket. One of the men snapped a lead rope around its neck and then led it from the arena.

My human fell against me, still shaking and I wrapped my head around her in sympathy. My forehead wasn't burning from the green goop and I was hoping that maybe it wouldn't eat its way into my brain before I got to tell her goodbye. After a few minutes I realized that my human wasn't sobbing in fear. She was doing that braying thing that humans do when they think something is funny. In fact I could now hear other humans doing the same thing, mine almost collapsed with it. She actually bent over and started gasping. Pebbles came over and his human dismounted and helped my human up. They were both braying and had water on their faces.

I was rather annoyed as we walked back to the barn. My human did have the decency to clean the green alien goop from my forehead. It didn"t burn, but did smell like rotted grass. I heard the humans talking that the creature had gotten loose from a "petting zoo", whatever that is, and that is way it was loose on the grounds: Irresponsible to say the least.

I found myself mentally exhausted and merely plodded through the rest of the day, letting my human be my guide. This seemed to please her as we came home with several of those blue cloth strips that she likes to hang on the trailer and stall door. I was patted and praised a lot and several other humans offered me carrots for my bravery. We returned home late in the afternoon and I was very grateful to get back to my stall. Trooper will simply have to wait until tomorrow to hear about our encounter. I feel myself nodding off even as I write. I hope I don't have nightpeoples over this ordeal. More later.


Anonymous said...

Laughed my head off! I can imagine a horse reacting like that

Ellen said...

This is priceless. I'm glad I found this site.